“But now they only block the sun. They rain and they snow on everyone. So many things I would have done. But clouds got in my way.”
Joni Mitchell (Both Sides Now)
Ardra is a stormy and destructive Nakshatra, symbolized by a teardrop. This star of emotion holds the untamed forces of nature and represents the power of transformation through suffering and purification. Ardra contains a rainstorm filled with frustration and anger, meant to destroy impurities and wash away what is not needed so something new can appear. Ardra teaches us to move with our emotions and control anger and destructive tendencies. The teardrop represents the cosmic tear shed in the process of evolution and the cleansing of karmic bonds. Ardra is the storm we must weather to make our nature pure and clean again.
HUMANS often consider themselves primarily logical beings, but our emotions influence us even more. They color our experiences and make our lives extraordinary. Like water, our emotions are cohesive, binding us to life, but they can also have destructive effects. The prevalence of mental and emotional issues in humans today indicates that we have lost control over our thoughts and emotions. As a species, we have not been taught how to regulate our feelings or how our mental and emotional bodies work together to shape our experiences. When we become trapped in our emotions, we can get overwhelmed by the intense experience and the resulting physical reactions caused by releasing powerful chemicals in our bodies. Adrenaline, cortisol, dopamine, and stress hormones flood our system, compelling us to act in specific ways. We become engulfed in the experience and don’t always know how to handle it.
We often struggle to understand and control our emotions, which can be overwhelming and scary. When our emotions take over, they have a powerful impact on our bodies. However, emotions are like chemical waves passing through us, like clouds in the sky rather than the sky itself. Emotions seem mysterious to us because we don’t understand them. This lack of understanding can lead to us suppressing and avoiding our feelings, creating an unhealthy internal environment that we fear and try to hide. Emotions are complex, incredible, and sometimes painful, yet they have something important to tell us. We should allow them to express themselves and then release them, much like waves moving through the ocean. We must embrace all our feelings and learn to be comfortable experiencing them, even the ones we might consider “bad”. A lack of understanding can lead to emotional immaturity, where we don’t take responsibility for our emotions, cannot process difficult ones, and cannot self-soothe. The willingness to move through difficult emotions and temporary discomfort helps us build emotional maturity, where we grow and purify with each storm passing.
Storms in nature form when warm and moist air rises into the sky. The warm and humid air condenses into water drops, causing the clouds to grow. This happens because warm air is lighter than cold air due to having less mass, so it rises higher in the atmosphere. As the warm air rises, the clouds get bigger and bigger. As the clouds grow, more water is added, and the water drops within the clouds increase. The clouds become grey and dark as more water accumulates, making them heavier. Eventually, the rising air can’t hold the water anymore, and raindrops fall through the clouds. At the same time, the cool, dry air descends within the cloud, pulling the water down as rain. The warm and cold air movement within the clouds also generates electric charges, which begin to form lightning.
Emotions can be powerful and overwhelming, like stormy clouds in the sky. If we let our emotional tension build up too much, it will eventually lead to an emotional storm, which can be volatile and destructive, either internally or externally. When we experience emotional turmoil, we often project it and blame others, adding more “mass” to the storm, making it even more violent, spinning faster, and causing heavier rainfall when the storm erupts. However, when we take responsibility for our feelings, we can gently release any emotional tension. Whether internal or external, emotional or physical, storms are necessary to replenish and reinvigorate nature and release built-up pressure. The storm is meant to be short, powerful, and purifying; new stability is available when it’s over. It’s a necessary step toward new calm and balance.
WHAT ARE EMOTIONS?
Even though emotions play a significant role in our lives, many people do not fully understand what they are, how they are formed, and how they function. Some believe emotions are potent forces from a deep, ancient part of ourselves that we have no control over. However, this is not the case. Emotions are our unique creations that we have been wiring into our brains since birth. Our brains were not born prewired with emotional circuits that react automatically to the world. In fact, no brain on Earth seems to contain such emotional circuits!
Emotions are electromagnetic signals in your body that influence chemistry and electricity, shaping your experience in each moment. They impact your body’s electrical state, altering the internal environment and propelling you toward specific actions. However, recent research in modern neuroscience suggests that emotions are not simplistic, instinctual circuits deep within your brain, even though they may feel that way. Emotions are intricate constructs shaped by your experiences, circumstances, and your interpretations of the world rather than just reactions to it. They are essentially mental stories you have constructed about the bodily sensations you experience in each moment. This means you are the architect of your emotional experiences and have more influence over them than you might realize. However, being the creator does not necessarily mean you have complete control over your current experiences or the ability to change how you feel instantly. Understanding how the brain works and how emotions are formed gives you more power to alter them by changing the narrative you have crafted about your emotional experiences.
The human brain is born with specific properties of consciousness, called moods, which are simple feelings in the body’s physiology. These moods or feelings come from the brain’s regulation of the body, and they are sometimes part of thinking and sometimes part of emotions, but they are always there from the moment you are born. These feelings include calm, agitated, in pain, comfortable, and uncomfortable. They essentially summarize what is happening inside the body – like a barometer of what’s going on. They add little detail, making it challenging for the brain to know what’s happening. The brain then tries to predict what is happening, using its body’s senses and observing its surroundings. Billions of neurons in the brain try to put two and two together, working out a story about the meaning of the feeling based on input from the outside world. The story the brain comes up with becomes your emotion.
From birth, a child’s brain begins to form an internal model of the outside world. This model is shaped by perceptions, memories, emotions, and thoughts based on the child’s awareness of what is happening within its body (interoception) and in the external world (exteroception). As a baby, the brain continuously links internal needs with external responses, for example, learning that crying results in comfort and care from caregivers. This process establishes the child’s relationship with the outside world, influencing how they form bonds and anticipate their needs and expectations. The brain absorbs information from the environment and later uses this information to make predictions. It then cross-references these predictions with current sensory input to adjust and refine its understanding. In essence, the brain utilizes past experiences to speculate about present events and then compares these speculations with reality to validate its predictions.
Our emotions are, in fact, stories that our brains have invented to explain how we feel inside. This process has been ongoing since infancy and has grown into a big, complex, and often unconscious emotional structure we carry throughout life. Based on our internal sensations, the brain looks for explanations outside and attaches the feeling to a particular narrative. For example, feeling anxious feels very similar to feeling excited. The sensations are the same: sweaty hands, fast heartbeat, and butterflies in the stomach, but the brain interprets it differently based on your past experiences and your narration. It creates two different stories based on that same internal feeling. The brain’s interpretation of what is happening determines whether you experience it as emotional suffering (anxiety) or anticipation of something great that might occur (excitement).
The experience of anxiety and excitement are two very different emotions and will significantly affect your experience. If you are excited about something, you stand a little taller, open more, infuse it with optimistic energy, and embrace the experience differently. If you are anxious, you shrink down, close off, and dread what might happen. Either way, the body’s internal feeling indicates that it’s about to do something new, something it’s not sure about since it hasn’t done it before. It’s a good stress when we prepare to evolve and do some battle or self-improvement. This type of good stress occurs when we move towards something unfamiliar, and it’s the same vibration that occurs in nature when it’s about to evolve into a new form. The sensory sensation in the body is the same for anxiety and excitement, but the story changes everything. So, if you experience anxiety about something, try redefining the story about what is happening. Could you instead train yourself to view it as excitement for the battle ahead? What expansion might you experience because of it? Instead of the butterflies crashing around and creating complete chaos in your stomach, you can train them to fly in formation through a new story!
Understanding how the brain connects internal sensations to external factors provides a new insight into emotional suffering. With this knowledge, we can explore this connection and consider creating new perspectives around our feelings. We can examine our internal sensations and question whether they are linked to external factors. Could feelings of discomfort be due to lack of sleep or proper nutrition? Could consuming excessive caffeine or alcohol lead to feelings of restlessness and anxiety? Or could a depressive mood be caused by a lack of physical activity or a need for comfort and human connection? Someone reassuring us that everything will be okay can also make a difference. By investigating and redefining our experiences and telling ourselves a more accurate story, we can train our brains to make better predictions in the future and manage our emotions more effectively. In scientific terms, this is known as emotional intelligence in action. It’s backed by decades of research and is incredibly empowering!
STUCK IN THE MENTAL STORM
Our thoughts can trigger emotions. When we think about something, it sets off a reaction in the body. For example, when someone is lying safely in their bed and hears a sound, they might imagine someone breaking in. Even though it’s not real and just a branch hitting the window, our thoughts can raise our pulse, make our breath faster, cause us to sweat, and induce panic. Many people get stuck in a cycle of being unable to control their thoughts, constantly thinking about problems, fears, and worries, which fuels this bodily reaction. This becomes an unhealthy and unhelpful cycle. When the body responds with intense fear, we start believing those scary thoughts because it reflects them by activating chemicals and stress hormones that rush through our bodies. We can now feel the effects of those scary thoughts in our bodies – making them feel real!
People often don’t question their thoughts; they believe every thought that goes through their minds. More importantly, they identify themselves with their thoughts. But if you think you are your thoughts, who are you when your thoughts stop? When you learn how to meditate, you understand that you are not your thoughts. This is the essence of meditation: to quiet your thoughts and reconnect with what you might call “the witness.” The witness is the true self that exists beyond the thoughts and mental chatter, where you observe thoughts coming and going. From this vantage point, you realize how you cling to specific thoughts, hold onto them, and not let go, keeping them in your awareness. When we become attached to thoughts, they return repeatedly, making them feel even more real. Eventually, they become ever-present, making us believe they are reality and truth. But it’s just another story your mind has created.
Often, we decide that only certain emotions are acceptable and allowed to be felt in our bodies. Our culture also reinforces that we should always avoid discomfort, only embracing the “good” and comfortable feelings. However, life on Earth is not only about comfort but also about challenging things, and we need the full spectrum of emotions to reflect what is happening. Emotions are our internal reactions to what is happening around us, so if difficult things happen, it is appropriate to feel that within us. Thinking we should avoid uncomfortable feelings like fear and anger is unrealistic and immature. We often consider it a flaw to feel fear and try to remove, suppress, medicate, or distract ourselves from feeling it. But feeling fear is appropriate when fearful things happen. Fear arises when we are in uncertain territory and don’t know what to do or what the outcome will be. It is a normal reaction for human animals to feel that way, and the feeling signals that there might be danger. The human brain doesn’t handle uncertainty well and will, therefore, work overtime to predict what is happening and how it can keep you safe. Anxiety and excessive fear may be the brain’s way of overpredicting because it doesn’t like feeling out of control.
We often find ourselves stuck in specific emotional patterns because we are attached to our thoughts. When we get trapped in our thoughts and emotions, we tend to stop progressing, which can negatively impact our lives. For example, being trapped in a state of fear triggers the constant release of stress hormones and chemicals in our bodies. This constant state of fear can overwhelm our nervous system, limit our behaviors, suppress our life force, and lead us to isolate ourselves from others. When we experience fear, it triggers changes throughout the body, putting it into survival mode. This leads to changes in blood chemistry, making it clot more easily in case of injury, constricting blood vessels, increasing heart rate and blood pressure, and releasing hormones like cortisol and adrenaline into the system, preparing the muscles for action. It’s preparing the body for physical battle, but we are usually not using it for such action, like running from predators, but rather, sitting in the safety of our homes. The stress hormones pile up and mess up the nervous system, making the body feel imbalanced. Stress hormones can also alter our perception of reality, making time seem to slow down, and sometimes, with intense fearful trauma, it feels as if it is happening in slow motion. These bodily reactions are meant to be short-lived and help us escape immediate danger. Getting stuck in this internal storm due to our thought patterns can harm our minds, emotions, and physical bodies in the long run.
The fear circuit is the body’s initial defense mechanism when it senses danger. It allocates many resources in the body, assuming you are in danger. However, if we are not in actual danger but instead trapped in our own mental patterns and fearful thoughts, it can lead to a mental storm with numerous harmful effects. The allocation of resources caused by keeping the body in constant fear can result in decreased energy and fewer resources available for other bodily functions, including our ability to think logically. The fear response can diminish our capacity for complex thinking, making problem-solving more challenging when we are afraid. Even simple tasks we typically have no trouble with can become complicated when we are in deep fear. For example, when experiencing intense fear, tasks like making a phone call may suddenly feel overwhelming. Therefore, organizing our thoughts and ensuring we are not trapped in mental storms that lead to destruction is essential.
EMOTIONAL IMMATURITY
Many individuals may excel personally and professionally but still struggle with emotional immaturity. Emotionally immature people believe something is true simply because they feel it. If they feel that someone has wronged them, they may accuse that person without evidence. They are highly sensitive to feelings of abandonment or rejection, causing them to be overly cautious of others’ actions and opinions. People may switch between mature and immature behaviors and often use social masks to conceal their true emotional level. However, their immaturity becomes harder to hide when unwell or under stress. Under pressure, they may become more self-centered and less considerate of others and have difficulty managing their anxiety. While some individuals may pretend to be emotionally mature when they want something or feel good, they often struggle to maintain this facade.
How do people become emotionally immature? It all goes back to the patterns developed during childhood. It ultimately boils down to how well our emotional needs were fulfilled during those crucial early years when our brain and nervous system evolved. It becomes the norm when a child’s emotional needs are consistently unmet. If a child consistently seeks help and comfort but receives none, this gets ingrained into their nervous system. Their nervous system learns that there is no one to help them in times of distress, leading the child to have unmet emotional needs and to believe that the world is unsafe and that they are alone in their suffering. The absence of emotional support becomes wired into their thought patterns, behaviors, and what they consider “normal.” This doesn’t mean they no longer need it; they still yearn for it. However, their idea of what’s normal does not involve having their emotional needs met, causing them to attract situations and people into their lives who reflect that back to them. This keeps them stuck in a cycle of attracting experiences that don’t nourish them emotionally and then using those experiences as evidence of their unmet needs. Getting stuck in this cycle is very painful.
One of the most significant challenges in developing emotional maturity is regulating emotional responses. Children have a hard time keeping an even keel by themselves. Therefore, caregivers must intervene when the child gets overwhelmed by their emotions, provide comfort, and guide them in regulating healthily. Over time, the child learns that this is how I calm myself down or this is who I go to for help. Children must be taught this over years of nurturing – how to bring themselves down and develop those parts that can cope with life’s stresses and find adaptive strategies. How do I deal with stress? How do I deal with my emotions when I get upset? How do I interact with other people without getting overwhelmed or upset by them? This takes years to learn, and it’s very vulnerable to disturbances, which can become a pattern for how we act later in life. Children need someone who can empathize with them and help them learn how to manage their emotions so they don’t resort to unhelpful strategies like suppressing their feelings or acting out.
People who are emotionally immature struggle to handle stress. They might be okay when their lives are going well, feeling fine and having enough energy. However, they may often feel overwhelmed when dealing with multiple things at once, which can cause them to react poorly under stress. For example, emotionally immature people might snap at their children or withdraw when their child comes to them with an emotional problem while they are stressed out. It is not because they don’t want to help but because they are not good at handling emotions. Stressful situations tend to make it worse, and the parent might shut down instead of helping the child navigate and regulate their emotions. This lack of consistent support and empathy can leave the child confused and alone, leading them to believe that they are at fault and undeserving of empathy. Consequently, the child might hesitate to share their problems and shut down.
In childhood, there are numerous opportunities for a child’s emotional needs to go unmet. If their caregivers and the people around them are not adept at handling their emotions, this can profoundly impact the child’s emotional maturity. It is crucial for a child to feel seen and have their feelings validated. However, if the caregivers tend to suppress and avoid acknowledging their emotions, this can hurt the child’s ability to develop theirs. For instance, if situations make the child anxious but everyone else seems perfectly fine, the child might feel even more anxious. If the other people suppress their emotions and don’t show how they truly feel, the child will feel alone in their emotional distress. This can lead the child to believe something is wrong with them since nobody else seems to be bothered. They might then think they are overreacting, too sensitive, wanting too much, and somehow in the way. Consequently, they might suppress their feelings and pretend they don’t feel them to fit into the group.
Children in these situations often struggle to be true to themselves and feel safe at the same time. All primates, including humans, naturally prioritize safety and security. As a result, children tend to prioritize feeling safe over expressing their genuine thoughts and emotions. This leads to children wearing a metaphorical mask and pretending they don’t need the things they genuinely need. Ultimately, this can result in emotional immaturity, as they haven’t learned to acknowledge and navigate their emotions maturely and healthily. This is a generational pattern that many people in our species struggle with, and it must be recognized and addressed to heal the emotional immaturity that so many people suffer from today.
FROM DESTRUCTION COMES GROWTH
Our emotional lives are full of ups and downs. We experience various emotions, from happiness, calmness, and comfort to frustration, anger, and fear. Our feelings fluctuate like the tides in the ocean. It’s easy to forget the peace beneath when caught up in these emotional waves. Dealing with extreme emotions can be challenging, and sometimes, we reach a point where we need to release these emotions to find new balance and stability.
Storms are destructive phenomena with wind, rain, thunder, and lightning, which can be scary for many. However, storms also bring something good. The heavy rain in thunderstorms provides significant humidity to the land, leading to a flourishing landscape. The raindrops also capture other particles in the atmosphere and force them into the soil, washing away grime and impurities on the ground, the plants, and the rest of the landscape. Water is life, and rainstorms provide lots of it to the parched land while washing away the old and clearing the way for the new. Old patterns dissolve through the storm’s intensity. The storm brings destruction, reset, and rebirth, whether internal or external.
Lightning has a significant impact on nature by providing additional energy in the atmosphere, which promotes lush and green growth. Thunderstorms act like fertilizers by converting nitrogen into a form that plants can absorb. Since plants require nitrogen to grow, and 78 percent of the atmosphere is nitrogen, lightning’s energy separates the nitrogen atoms, making them absorbable by plants. These atoms then fall to the ground and mix with the existing minerals in the soil, forming nitrates that aid in plant growth. A single rainstorm with lightning is much more effective in promoting growth and abundance than a week of regular watering. The rain offers water, and the lightning acts as a natural fertilizer. In short, the storm is a blessing to the earth from the air, water, and fire elements!
One place on Earth that celebrates rainstorms is Tsavo, the largest national park in Kenya and one of Africa’s last remaining wilderness areas. This finely tuned ecosystem relies on rain to thrive, supporting various animals and species. Tsavo experiences two distinct seasons: the dry season, which typically runs from January to March, and the rainy season, which falls in between. This biannual transformation significantly impacts wildlife, with many species thriving during the rainy season and struggling during the dry season. The landscape changes from bustling and green to complete stillness and beige, reflecting the seasonal shift. Kenya’s wildlife is well-adapted to these changes, taking advantage of the abundance in the rainy seasons and enduring the scarcity in the dry seasons. Many animals struggle during the dry season; one of the worst examples was in 1970-71 when a devastating drought in Tsavo killed 6000 elephants. Eventually, when the rains finally came, the relief of the land and its many animals and species was massive. The rainstorms came, cleansed the land, and brought it back to life, ensuring that Tsavo returned better than ever.
This is the wisdom of the storm.