“The fabled musk deer searches the world over for the source of the scent which comes from itself.”
Ramakrishna
Mrigashira is a gentle and delicate Nakshatra, symbolized by the head of a deer. Reflected by its sensitivity, alertness, and curiosity, the deer expresses a friendly and benevolent nature, always exploring, searching, and moving gracefully through the woods. The gradual growth of the male deer’s antlers represents Mrigashiras’ developmental quality, where consciousness learns through trials and tribulations in a continuous cycle of pursuing pleasures and fulfillment, ultimately leading to maturity and personal growth.
THE MOMENT you are born, you begin constructing a story about yourself. Like a deer in the woods, you start observing your surroundings, searching for security, meaning, and fulfillment. As you do this, you create a narrative about your reality, the people around you, and your place within that reality. Your consciousness is in motion, and with your mind, you form a story that gradually becomes deeply ingrained in your brain and nervous system, serving as your default setting. This narrative becomes your foundation, shaping your values, self-perception, and identity and influencing how you adapt to life and your path. It creates the rules and limitations for what you allow yourself to be, do, and experience. Your personal story becomes the filter through which you see the world.
Understanding and uncovering your story can be a powerful tool for personal growth. Many of the mental and emotional challenges we face today stem from feeling trapped in our own stories, which were primarily shaped in reaction to our childhood experiences. However, many people are unaware of these subconscious stories that influence their beliefs, habits, behaviors, and mental and emotional patterns. These stories hold significant power, and when we repeatedly tell them to ourselves, they shape our minds and keep us stuck in specific patterns. What we focus on grows in our awareness and becomes reality while other things fade away. If you focus on peace, it will grow in your awareness and then spread out into the world. If you focus on conflict, that will also increase.
Our experiences shape our realities. Starting from childhood, when we encounter unpleasant, harmful, or traumatic events, we develop coping mechanisms and build walls to avoid experiencing those things again. As sensitive beings, we are drawn to things that bring us comfort and joy and seek to avoid those that cause us pain. Subconsciously, we develop mental and emotional strategies to shield ourselves from feeling certain things again. Over time, we construct a complex structure in our consciousness – a narrative about ourselves that we then begin to view as our identity, the mask we put on when interacting with the world. This narrative might differ from how we feel inside, but we feel trapped within the narrative we had to construct to survive mentally, emotionally, and physically. It might feel impossible to break free from the story we have created about ourselves. The more sensitive we are and the more negative things we have experienced, the more “armor” we tend to wear to protect ourselves against real and imagined threats. By doing this, we narrow our awareness fields and make ourselves smaller, limiting our ability to move, adapt, and be flexible. And being too inflexible makes our path smaller, narrower, and more stressful!
Research has shown that mentally, emotionally, and physically flexible people tend to be healthier and more fulfilled. They can move naturally through life, embrace changes, and recover quickly from setbacks and failures. If we are willing to adapt to new circumstances and not get stuck in the story about what happened, we bounce back more quickly. Flexibility means bouncing back, shaking it off, and continuing another path if one doesn’t pan out.
Deer are incredibly flexible and adaptable creatures, and they can teach us valuable lessons about the importance of being open to change and not getting stuck on a single path. They symbolize freedom and consciousness as they move through dense forests, leaping and running with remarkable agility and stealth. Their natural camouflage allows them to blend seamlessly with their surroundings, making them nearly invisible to predators. Despite their gentle nature, they rely on their ability to adapt and change to evade threats. When faced with danger, they gracefully navigate through the forest and return to peaceful grazing once the threat has passed. The deer’s behavior is a powerful reminder to navigate life’s challenges gracefully and flexibly without becoming trapped in our mental and emotional patterns.
BUILDING YOUR STORY
To understand your personal story, looking back to your early days as a baby is essential. From the moment you are born, your brain starts to create a framework of where you are and what is happening around you. The brain acts as a storyteller, processing information from your senses, forming concepts and categories, and then using them to create stories about your experiences in each moment. The baby’s brain depends on experience to understand something. If it has no experience with something, it can’t understand it. It constantly processes sensory information from the world around it, trying to make sense of the different sights, sounds, smells, touches, and tastes they experience, creating a story about its surroundings. The child’s brain and nervous system are very sensitive, and to develop correctly, it must grow in a healthy, relaxed environment where comfort and love are provided freely. The brain’s wiring begins while the baby is still in the womb, and research shows that it is even sensitive to its mother’s stress levels before it is born.
Unlike adults, babies can’t tune out or ignore information. Adults can read a book on a noisy train, filtering in what they want and ignoring the rest. Infants can’t do that; their brains soak up all the information like sponges because they constantly try to figure out what is happening to understand how to adapt to their surroundings. The eyes transform electromagnetic radiation (light) into neural signals, while the ears convert vibrating air. The nose turns airborne chemicals into neural signals, and the tongue converts liquid chemicals into neural signals. The skin, a marvel of adaptability, transforms temperature, pressure, and texture into neural signals.
The brain and nervous system of babies are incredibly adept at learning and adapting. This allows them to absorb information and interact with the world more efficiently and rapidly. As a result, children can learn multiple languages simultaneously because their brains process incoming information without filtering it. Every experience a baby encounters helps shape their brain’s patterns, guiding their actions, focus, and behavior. While babies are born with natural reflexes and reactions to stimuli, they do not possess pre-existing knowledge, information, or memories. Instead, their experiences mold and change their brain, integrating the outside world into their internal understanding. These formative years play a crucial role in shaping an individual’s perception of reality and constructing personal narratives about themselves, others, and the world.
The human nervous system is highly complex. Compared to other mammals, human babies are less developed at birth, making them more fragile and needing more care. While a deer can walk a few hours after birth, a human baby may take up to one year to do the same. To develop normally, human babies require nurturing in various forms, including physical, psychological, emotional, and social support, such as eye contact, touch, certain smells, and cuddling. Without these experiences, the brain may not wire as it should. The human brain and nervous system are finely tuned machinery that requires a long time to develop, which increases the potential for developmental issues.
Infant mammals are born ready to interact with the world, specifically for social interaction. Even though human babies have blurry vision, they pay special attention to faces and can quickly identify their mother’s face. They also prefer the sound of voices to non-speech sounds and can distinguish one important speech sound from another. As a social species, we are undoubtedly built to make social connections. However, the human need for social connection can also lead to trauma if not sufficiently met. Abuse and neglect can have a detrimental effect on the development and physical, mental, and emotional well-being of a person. Also, the lack of acknowledgment, not being accepted into a social group, and shaming and ridicule can cause deep emotional and psychological scars in a person. Human beings have a sensitive nature that allows them to connect deeply with others, but this same ability to connect can also cause immense pain and trauma. One could argue that other people are both the best and potentially the worst thing for the human nervous system!
NARROWING THE PATH
The consciousness of a newborn is boundless; it is free from any restrictions, rules, or limitations and can go anywhere. The baby has not yet formed a narrative about itself, about what it can and cannot do in this world. Anyone who has spent time around a baby knows they are not shy about expressing their needs loudly and immediately. However, as time passes, the child learns the rules of their environment, what is permissible and what is not, and what is rewarded and punished.
Children begin establishing rules and limitations for themselves and suppressing specific needs based on their observations. They create barriers around their consciousness, restricting their awareness. Every living being is naturally drawn to things that make them feel good and avoids things that make them feel bad. Therefore, children naturally try to avoid uncomfortable and painful emotions by restraining themselves and limiting their behavior to feel safe. They learn to inhibit and suppress specific needs if they are unmet, ridiculed, dismissed, or punished. Children always need to feel secure, seen, accepted, and loved. If that is not freely provided, they will try to adapt to make it possible. If that doesn’t work, they might just shut that unmet need down, pushing it into their unconscious mind. They construct a mental framework to feel more secure physically, mentally, and emotionally, which subsequently becomes restrictive, with rules about what they can and cannot do. The more fear and anxiety the child experiences, the more rules become ingrained in their internal model of themselves, the world, their identity, and who they believe themselves to be. They start confusing their true selves with who they think they must become to be accepted and safe.
The child’s understanding of the world develops with each new experience. The brain is a fantastic storyteller that uses every input to form the complex narrative of our identity. Everything in our environment, including the people and the culture, influences this narrative, shaping our understanding of ourselves and our reality. We absorb the values and hopes of our parents but also their wounds and insecurities. We take on generational patterns that are often so hidden and unconscious that we have no idea they are there, directing us onto specific paths in life. As our stories become more complex, they evolve into multilayered narratives that we present to ourselves and others about our preferences, needs, values, and more. This intricate story becomes our identity, guiding us as we seek meaning and fulfillment in life.
Our internal narratives directly influence our sense of self-worth about ourselves. We often tie our value to specific abilities, appearance, possessions, wealth, jobs, titles, friends, relationships, or social status. These things become part of our identity, and we judge ourselves and others based on these criteria. We spend a lot of time maintaining and upholding this self-image; if we are very attached to it, we depend on it to feel okay. We must be perceived in a certain way; if not, it threatens our sense of self. We invest considerable effort in protecting this internal story and ensuring our self-image remains intact. We become deeply attached to and vulnerable about losing what we have incorporated into our identity, believing that they define us. This can lead to an unconscious cycle of self-centeredness, where we constantly seek validation and agreement from others about our self-perceived identity.
For example, if someone has centered their entire sense of self around being a successful businessman with significant wealth and power, losing those things could feel like a complete loss of self. It could feel like dying. If they believe these external achievements give them value, losing them could feel like the end of life. This often occurs when individuals tie their worth and identity to external factors. When these are lost, they feel their lives are over because what they thought defined them is gone. They can no longer rely on those things – the facade has been stripped away. In some extreme cases, individuals may even contemplate ending their lives because they believe there is nothing left without the external attributes that they used to prop up their identity. Instead of considering such drastic measures, they should consider rewriting their story. The story is crumbling, not the essence of who they are.
SENSITIVITY AS A SUPERPOWER
All primates, including humans, need to feel safe. This leads us to seek internal and external shelter, reflected in the emotional, psychological, and physical strategies we incorporate into our lives. This includes strategy and mechanisms to “toughen up” because sensitivity is often seen as a weakness that needs to be suppressed. However, this is another story we tell ourselves, and it’s not true. Sensitivity is a superpower that allows us to stay safe, alive, and connected. When we suppress our sensitivity, we suppress our conscious connection to the nervous system, a finely tuned machinery constantly communicating with the environment to keep us alive and thriving.
Our senses provide information about our surroundings and help us react to potential dangers. For instance, they inform the brain about the level of light in our environment, which allows the brain to determine whether it should be active or prepare for sleep. Our senses also alert the brain if the temperature is too hot or too cold for our bodies, if something sounds unusual or tastes strange, or if there is smoke in the air, signaling a fire. They constantly scan for potential threats and immediately notify us when there is a danger. Our senses also try to communicate with us on a deeper, internal level through gut feelings, hunches, and an inner “knowing” we sometimes experience. However, when we suppress our sensitivity, we also ignore these subtle cues meant to guide us. We dismiss them, rationalize them as nonsense, and continue our internal narrative.
When we suppress our sensitivity and condition ourselves through our experiences to not be sensitive to our surroundings, we also suppress this excellent alert system. We get stuck in our mental narratives, ignoring the physical body’s intelligence and disregarding its signals. We’ve all been in situations where we feel that something is not right but choose to ignore it because we are focused on a particular story playing in our minds about what we should be doing. For instance, a woman might have a gut feeling that something is off with the man she’s dating, but she ignores it because she doesn’t want to be impolite. Just like a deer senses a predator nearby and knows to flee, her body is telling her the same, but she’s listening to the narrative in her mind instead of her body’s warning signals. We may think we are being clever by shutting off our body’s sensitivity, but it’s the most unintelligent thing we could do to ensure our safety when living in a physical body on Earth.
Deer and other prey animals are sensitive beings, and their sensitivity is vital for survival. Their senses are sharp, and they react swiftly to perceived threats. They can move and adapt when faced with challenges and dangers. They handle acute stress, adjust to it, and then shake it off without being traumatized. Stress is a natural part of life on Earth and a fundamental aspect of evolution. It drives nature to change and grow, compelling life forms and organisms to endure discomfort to evolve. The discomfort of stress forces an organism to confront and push through a challenge, leading to growth. This type of stress is beneficial because it makes an organism stronger, more flexible, and more resilient. It enables individuals to confront, overcome, and move forward. It’s like strength training, where muscles become stronger when resistance is added. This flexibility and ability to navigate challenges is essential for finding fulfillment in life. Taking risks, pursuing our goals, and persisting even when faced with setbacks and rejection are often necessary. Remaining flexible and not confined by limiting self-concepts allows us to bounce back and keep trying. Chronic stress, on the other hand, occurs when we live in situations where we cannot go beyond the source of stress. We get stuck in a continuous loop, never pushing through and going round and round, which stresses the body. This prevents the body from releasing the pent-up chemicals and hormones caused by the stress, overwhelming the nervous system. The intelligence of the nervous system, whose job is to keep us alive and well, then decides to shut down in an attempt to reset, which we experience as a breakdown.
Mammals have a natural reaction to traumatic situations. They shake to release the chemicals and hormones produced during stress. This shaking helps the animal physically release and flush out stress chemicals from its body. Humans have the same reaction, which is meant to help shake off stressful situations. It’s a brilliant mechanism that you’ve probably experienced many times. When we experience a scary and traumatic incident, we may start to shake, sometimes violently and visibly. We may not understand what is happening and might find it embarrassing, trying to suppress it. We may hide it, block it, or even take medication to stop the shaking. However, physical shaking is a normal reaction after experiencing something stressful; it helps the body shake off the stress and helps the nervous system rebalance itself after the shock it experienced. It helps the body release the stress chemicals and the trauma you experienced, discarding the energy so it doesn’t store in the body. Releasing it helps us move on.
Deer do not dwell on the events that happen to them. They do not hold onto the trauma or question why a predator targeted them. On the other hand, humans tend to get caught up in the story, endlessly trying to understand what happened and taking everything personally. We struggle to adapt, change, and move on from our experiences, which can lead to us remaining stuck in an endless mental loop about what has happened to us, causing chronic stress and a feeling of being unable to overcome the obstacles. Our ability to navigate challenges depends on the story we tell ourselves and what part we play in that narrative.
THE PATH OF IDENTITY OR PURPOSE
Every person follows a unique path in life, shaped by their story from their early years. How well we handle life’s challenges can be traced back to that story and the rules we created. Regardless of our path, everyone’s journey can be categorized by two motivations: identity or purpose. People tend to follow one or the other but may also switch between the two at different stages in life. However, many choose one path and stick to it without distraction.
If you follow the path of identity, you are focused on yourself and motivated by your desires, feelings, possessions, and others’ opinions of you. These individuals primarily concentrate on themselves, are driven by emotions, and often use the word “I.” Their motivation is selfish, as everything revolves around them, how they perceive things, and how the world impacts them. They concentrate on themselves and their problems, seeking things, people, and solutions to provide comfort and help them improve. They are frequently entangled in their emotional conflicts and take everything very personally. When criticized, they feel inadequate and believe that people do not like them – they are primarily trapped in their emotions. We often associate our identity with who we are, so any challenges to that identity will trigger a defensive reaction. Today, many people are walking this path, not because they are inherently selfish, but because they have been programmed to do so. We are being pushed into this path on an endless pursuit of being more, having more, and consuming more. It’s another story that humanity has been feeding itself because of its disconnection from its true nature. It’s not true, and sadly, it’s a path that never leads to true fulfillment.
There is another path we can walk: the path of purpose. On this path, our motivation is centered around a mission or a goal, and we are searching for ways to achieve it. Your emotions do not drive you like the identity-driven person, but rather on moving closer towards your goal, a goal that is more significant than yourself. When focusing on such a goal, you don’t take criticism and feedback personally. You don’t succumb so easily to pressure and want to give up when things get complicated and challenging. It’s not about you and your feelings. If you have a larger goal, such as doing good for humanity, caring for others, helping animals, or raising children, you are driven by something beyond yourself and your identity. Something within the human spirit gets activated when you step onto the path of purpose; it’s like an extra push from inside that selfishness can’t reach. It might be an essential ingredient in the sensitivity and connection we have tried to suppress for so long. It might be a vital trait for the human animal that activates when you focus on something beyond yourself. As more and more people consciously and continuously embrace this trait, we might see swift and magical change in humanity.
It’s important to remember that everyone is stuck in their own narratives, filled with fears, insecurities, and vulnerabilities. If we knew the stories playing in other people’s minds, we might be more empathetic toward them. We have no idea what emotional and psychological patterns are at play in someone’s consciousness. We don’t know what people have experienced and how those experiences have shaped their view of the world. It’s also crucial to remember that most people aren’t even aware that a story is influencing their thoughts, and if they are aware, they are convinced that their story is correct. Since others don’t have the same internal model as us, they will never see the world as we do. Judging people for not doing things as we do or think they should only creates a more significant divide between us. We dismiss them and label them as wrong. We also tend to adapt our stories according to other people’s narratives, often leading to trouble. We listen to what others tell us we should be doing and how we should feel and think. By doing this, we give away our power to other people’s narratives, which will undoubtedly lead us astray.
Letting go of the old story paves the way for a more authentic version of yourself. When you’re not in touch with your true self, your essence, you are swayed by others’ expectations and stories about who you should be and what you should do. This leaves you feeling lost. Maintaining a false narrative about ourselves is tiring and requires much effort. Below the false story lies a soul that yearns to express itself. When you release the false narrative, a surge of energy is unleashed. Your true self is like a spark of light – never-ending energy. If it’s not stifled and suppressed by inner patterns, fears, and limiting beliefs, the light continues to move, shine, and express itself. It doesn’t need permission to be what it is.
The deer is completely free as it wanders in the forest, fully attuned to the laws of nature. Its senses are open, and it knows everything that is going on in that forest. Like light, it is constantly on the move, able to adapt and change when something comes onto its path. It is never stuck in the same place and can bob and weave through any obstacle as it moves through the forest. It knows the dangers of the forest; it has experienced it all, but it bravely moves on, full of sensitivity, beauty, and gentleness, on the path of authenticity.
This is the wisdom of the deer.